The Farewell - 別告訴她

The Farewell (别告诉她) is an 2019 film. The movie stars Awkwafina (Nora Lum). The supporting cast include Tzi Ma, Diana Lin, Zhao Shuzhen, Lu Hong, and Jiang Yongbo. The movie was directed by Lulu Wang and based on her own life experience.

Billi is trying to make it on her own as an writer in New York. Billi goes home to wash her clothes and eat her mother's food. When she finds out that her grandmother has cancer, the whole family heads out to Zhong Guo to say their farewell. But there's a catch. The family has decided NOT to tell her grandmother. And Billi finds out why. Torn, Billi goes along with it. But you can see it on her face that she wants so badly to tell her grandmother. What will she do?

This movie was pretty awesome. Lulu Wang is probably pretty well connected to her roots, but she's culturally indoctrinated by her US lifestyle. It comes out in her presentation of the things that happen in Zhong Guo. Lulu Wang accepts the culture, but takes a critical eye to it.

Even though the concept of the movie will give casual movie-goers an excuse to watch and feel nerdy smart or culturally aware, it was not the focus of the movie for me. The focus was really Billi trying to reconcile her roots in Zhong Guo and where she grew up, US. The cultures are vastly different in many ways and it starts with the family dynamics. Than it goes to how elders treat the younger generation. Than it goes to the language. Most kids that grow up in the states from their elementary days will be pretty bad at the mother tongue of their parents.

I was also shocked at how good Billi's grammer was when speaking her mother tongue. If you know folks trying to speak their mother tongue here in LA, they suck. They don't want to unless they have to. And when they do, they translate from English and the grammer is all off. Billi's grammer was on point. That's what a great script does for you. BUT it would have been more realistic if she messed up and her elders kept correcting her. Because that's what happens all the time around LA.

If you're or FOB or not and have Zhong Guo roots, you should make an effort to watch this film. It is well made, independent in feel, but spoke volumes to me and my teenage daughter.